Category Archives: Life

Turning A Corner

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Although in the end it turned into a bit of shambles, my time volunteering at the school seems to have done me a lot of good. I’m more confident than I was and it seems to have brought a part of my brain out of hibernation. I now feel like I’m a) ready and b) really keen to get back into work full time. I blogged about this before, I’ve not been sure what to do because I want another baby and don’t want to stop and start too much. But we’re not going to be having another baby in the next year, or even trying, so I reckon I’ve … Continue reading →

The Basket That Didn’t Exist

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This post is kind of over due and a few of you will have seen me harping on about it on twitter, but I feel like I need to get it blogged and have the full story on here as its bloody long & complicated to try and explain in a tweet. In November, I received a Facebook message from the head of department in a school I did some work experience at in 2011, asking me if I was working and saying that although she couldn’t say too much at this stage there may be an opportunity coming up that she thought I’d be perfect for- would I be … Continue reading →

Mask

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Therapy session number 3. Huge improvement on last time, that’s for sure. I’m sat in a cafe near Chops’ nursery waiting to go and pick her up and giving myself a bit of time to ‘debrief’ and reflect on the last hour. I spoke lots today to Ian about my job, similar things to what I was saying in my post ‘Changing’. I mentioned briefly how I’ve always felt that bar work is a real “Sing for your supper” job. There are both stereotypes and expectations placed on the person you’ll find behind the bar of a lively pub- you expect the staff to be well turned out and you … Continue reading →

Miracle

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Sometimes, just at random intervals throughout the day, I look at Chops and realise, as if for the first time that this is my Daughter I’m looking at. This astonishes me. Even though I’ve had over two and a half years to get used to it, 3 and a half if you include my pregnancy, sometimes, the fact that I Am A Mother just floors me. I look at Chops doing simple things- raising a glass of milk to her mouth before bed and having a drink and I think “Wow”. How on earth did that little person come from me? It’ll 11.40pm, just 10 minutes ago she woke up coughing (we’ve both … Continue reading →

Changing

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I think I need a new job. I’ve worked part time in pubs and restaurants on and off for the last 11 years, I’ve done bar work since I was 18. Fair to say it’s starting to get me down. Some of you who follow me on twitter were kind enough to help me last week when I was in work and had a … well I’m not really sure what to call it. A blip? I was working and surrounded by people I like and who like me, and a couple of hundred strangers out enjoying their Saturday nights. And for some reason, that black cloud rolled over me. … Continue reading →

One Million Reps

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So, on Monday I saw my best bud from uni and took great joy in telling him; “Hey, here’s a sentence we’ve been waiting to hear me say for a while- ‘I’m going to therapy tomorrow!’”. And we had a good laugh and, yeah. Very little else was said about it. That’s the way it is though I suppose. That’s what my blog is for, airing out all the stuff that the real world aren’t really sure how to react to. Yesterday, that something was therapy. Or counselling I suppose. Whatever name you wish to give going to your doctors surgery and chatting to a man you’ve never met for … Continue reading →

Trust

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Trust. A loaded gun in the English language if ever there was one. Sure, we know what it means. But what it means to me and what it means to you or our partners, or either of our best friends could be two, or three, or four dozen very different things. I’ll give you an example. My best friend got married this year, she has been with her husband for about four years. About a month before the wedding, she was in the car with him (he was driving) and their daughter and he asked her to send a text to his brother letting him know they were on the … Continue reading →

Four

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Babies. I’m obsessed with them at the moment. I’ve met the man I want to spend the rest of my life with, he feels the same about me. And so… “Procreate, procreate, procreate!” screams my uterus. I have never experienced ‘being broody’ before. Chops was born out of a very different relationship under very different circumstances. I was only 23 then not very young granted, but younger than I saw myself when I looked into the crystal ball of my future. I’m almost 27 now and my little girl is two and a half. Not a massive different in numbers but a complete transformation in all other manners. Although I’m also … Continue reading →

Tired

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Is anyone else always tired? I am ALWAYS knackered. I don’t know how long this has been the case. I suspect since I was pregnant. It worries me a little. I know I’m a single parent and all that but there are tons of other single parents out there who seem to manage way more than I do and just seem to get on with it. The amount that I can sleep when I get the chance is scary. I can quite easily get up in the morning and it take me two or three hours just to get myself off the sofa. If we’re at home in the afternoon when Chops takes … Continue reading →