Category Archives: Single Parent

Leaving

1

My first doctors appointment, checking in appointment, and everything else with the exception of the birth and the scans, I was alone. I remember weeping, hidden in the toilets of Mothercare, alone, surrounded by couples and families, exuberant grandparents grabbing and exclaiming at blankets, tiny pairs of socks. I felt her move inside me and pushed a trolley around alone, gathering moses basket, blankets, sheets, steriliser, baby monitor and all the other essentials. I’d gotten the grant I’d been forced to use to buy them the previous day as I’d been made redundant in my 13th week and was struggling financially by this stage. It couldn’t wait, I knew the money … Continue reading →

One Million Reps

2

So, on Monday I saw my best bud from uni and took great joy in telling him; “Hey, here’s a sentence we’ve been waiting to hear me say for a while- ‘I’m going to therapy tomorrow!’”. And we had a good laugh and, yeah. Very little else was said about it. That’s the way it is though I suppose. That’s what my blog is for, airing out all the stuff that the real world aren’t really sure how to react to. Yesterday, that something was therapy. Or counselling I suppose. Whatever name you wish to give going to your doctors surgery and chatting to a man you’ve never met for … Continue reading →

Last Text Of The Day

Reply

Before I go to sleep tonight, I have just picked up my phone and sent a quick text to my Mum, letting her know that Chops is sound asleep, we are both ok and Chops has not been poorly this evening. As I put my phone down I feel that pang in my chest. Sadness, rage, loss, disappointment, confusion, fury and so many other emotions hit me in the chest for just a fraction of a second, as it crossed my mind, however briefly that you have no idea about this. I text my Mum last night before bed, we spoke today before her lesson so I could relay what … Continue reading →

The Good Parent Guide.

12

This post is actually going to come with a dedication. Why the heck not. This post is to everyone who has ever looked despairingly at their child(ren) or their own reflection in the mirror and thought “Am I doing this right?” Or even “I’m really not doing this right!”. But especially, this is dedicated to my friend Rachel aka Mummy Glitzer. I have spent many, and I do mean many, many, many MANY hours in the last three years worrying. About my capabilities as a parent. I wonder if perhaps, I feel that burden weighs heavier on my shoulders as I’m a single parent and therefore I have to be two people’s … Continue reading →

Four

8

Babies. I’m obsessed with them at the moment. I’ve met the man I want to spend the rest of my life with, he feels the same about me. And so… “Procreate, procreate, procreate!” screams my uterus. I have never experienced ‘being broody’ before. Chops was born out of a very different relationship under very different circumstances. I was only 23 then not very young granted, but younger than I saw myself when I looked into the crystal ball of my future. I’m almost 27 now and my little girl is two and a half. Not a massive different in numbers but a complete transformation in all other manners. Although I’m also … Continue reading →

Safe

5

I’m writing this after watching tonight’s Panorama about Jimmy Saville. About the possibility of unspeakably dark things going on within the BBC, that were gossiped about and suspected by dozens of people. As with anything like this, I watch, I listen, and I think of my beautiful daughter who is asleep upstairs. I won’t pretend to have the monopoly on loving my child. I believe that the love I feel for my daughter is the greatest love ever felt by one human for another. But of course, I realise  each of you parents out there feels the same. But despite the unease this programme has given me, tomorrow, I will … Continue reading →

Absent Familiy

2

You probably know if you’ve read my blog before (I thank you) that I’m not in contact with my daughters father, (if not it’s here if you need bringing up to speed). I’m very lucky in that I have both of my parents nearby, Mum in Buxton, 5 minutes away from me and her husband, and Dad in Manchester with his wife and two step-sisters. My sister lives in Buxton, as do my Aunt and three cousins. My brother has been living on the Isle of Skye for the last 7 months but now he’s back and living in Buxton too. So I’m lucky. Her Dad might have opted out but … Continue reading →

I Am Not Kat Moon.

12

Attitudes have changed in the office but not in a pub. That’s where you see what they really think is ok. We’re meant to have moved forward, become more civilised in the way we treat one another, certain language and behaviour where we work- or anywhere for that matter- is no longer considered acceptable. Sure. In that case, I would invite you to go and work a busy Saturday night in your local pub as a young woman in her twenties. For I can tell you from experience that in that particular environment, the attitude that people being arrogant, sexist, rude, derogatory and condescending is still not only alive and … Continue reading →

Overwhelmed

6

Today G and I took Chops to look around a nursery. Our first choice is now taking places for entry in September 2013 so off we went to take a look and start the process of getting her name down. The visit went well, but it has left my head kind of swimming. Chops is 3 in April, so will get her 15 hours government funding from September. Once she’s in nursery, I plan to either return to full time work or embark upon my PGCE Qualification. That in itself is a huge decision and whenever I start to really think about it, I start to go cross eyed, I … Continue reading →

Nope, no extra crazy here today thank you!

1

So, today has been an official pyjama day in the house of myself & Chops. I have done no housework, no proper stuff, not even got dressed- either of us! We have just chilled out in our pyjamas and do you know what, it was exactly what we needed. We haven’t had any days where we just do nothing together without anyone or anything else interrupting us in ages and sometimes it good to just be together without any extras. And then along comes an ex boyfriend and pisses all over my chips. Here’s the story. When I was 21, I spent half of my 2nd year at uni living in Wagga … Continue reading →