Therapy session number 3. Huge improvement on last time, that’s for sure. I’m sat in a cafe near Chops’ nursery waiting to go and pick her up and giving myself a bit of time to ‘debrief’ and reflect on the last hour. I spoke lots today to Ian about my job, similar things to what I was saying in my post ‘Changing’. I mentioned briefly how I’ve always felt that bar work is a real “Sing for your supper” job. There are both stereotypes and expectations placed on the person you’ll find behind the bar of a lively pub- you expect the staff to be well turned out and you expect them to smile and be pleasant. Easy to chat to. It’s part of the role. I’ll wager you’d notice an unhappy looking, surly or rude bar maid or waitress far quicker than on the till in your supermarket or your bank.

So when I go to work, I put on a mask. A happy smiling mask. Sometimes, I think that doing this can actually do more harm than good, but the fact that it is necessary remains. I wonder if we all do this and to what extent? Are there any jobs out there where you don’t have to adopt a persona just to earn a crust? I suppose even if you’re a celebrity of sorts and ‘being you’ is what you’re known for for whatever reason, that ‘you’ that’s being presented to the world isn’t really genuine. It’s just the parts that the public want to know. Why is that? Why is so much of just managing and doing our jobs based on being someone we’re actually not?

It’s not just work either. It seems sometimes as though, for every person I am, every role I take on in my life- mother, girlfriend, daughter, sister, friend, employee, blogger, tweeter, whatever, I have a different mask and never the twain shall meet. It’s no wonder we’re all so messed up really, life is just an ongoing masquerade ball isn’t it?