Tag Archives: Am I Doing This Right?

Leaving

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My first doctors appointment, checking in appointment, and everything else with the exception of the birth and the scans, I was alone. I remember weeping, hidden in the toilets of Mothercare, alone, surrounded by couples and families, exuberant grandparents grabbing and exclaiming at blankets, tiny pairs of socks. I felt her move inside me and pushed a trolley around alone, gathering moses basket, blankets, sheets, steriliser, baby monitor and all the other essentials. I’d gotten the grant I’d been forced to use to buy them the previous day as I’d been made redundant in my 13th week and was struggling financially by this stage. It couldn’t wait, I knew the money … Continue reading →

Cold Turkey

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After about 18 months of antidepressants I have semi decided semi accidentally gone cold turkey. That’s right folks. I am going drug free. I know I’m supposed to see my GP about this but let me explain: I’ve recently finished having weekly counselling sessions and emotionally, I feel in a much stronger place than I have been in a long while. There have been some let downs in terms of trying to get back into work lately, but after a couple of days licking my wounds and feeling disappointed and angry, I reckon I’ve come back fighting and got on with finding out what’s next for me. Of course I was upset… … Continue reading →

Miracle

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Sometimes, just at random intervals throughout the day, I look at Chops and realise, as if for the first time that this is my Daughter I’m looking at. This astonishes me. Even though I’ve had over two and a half years to get used to it, 3 and a half if you include my pregnancy, sometimes, the fact that I Am A Mother just floors me. I look at Chops doing simple things- raising a glass of milk to her mouth before bed and having a drink and I think “Wow”. How on earth did that little person come from me? It’ll 11.40pm, just 10 minutes ago she woke up coughing (we’ve both … Continue reading →

One Million Reps

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So, on Monday I saw my best bud from uni and took great joy in telling him; “Hey, here’s a sentence we’ve been waiting to hear me say for a while- ‘I’m going to therapy tomorrow!’”. And we had a good laugh and, yeah. Very little else was said about it. That’s the way it is though I suppose. That’s what my blog is for, airing out all the stuff that the real world aren’t really sure how to react to. Yesterday, that something was therapy. Or counselling I suppose. Whatever name you wish to give going to your doctors surgery and chatting to a man you’ve never met for … Continue reading →

The Good Parent Guide.

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This post is actually going to come with a dedication. Why the heck not. This post is to everyone who has ever looked despairingly at their child(ren) or their own reflection in the mirror and thought “Am I doing this right?” Or even “I’m really not doing this right!”. But especially, this is dedicated to my friend Rachel aka Mummy Glitzer. I have spent many, and I do mean many, many, many MANY hours in the last three years worrying. About my capabilities as a parent. I wonder if perhaps, I feel that burden weighs heavier on my shoulders as I’m a single parent and therefore I have to be two people’s … Continue reading →