Tag Archives: Parenting

Turning A Corner

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Although in the end it turned into a bit of shambles, my time volunteering at the school seems to have done me a lot of good. I’m more confident than I was and it seems to have brought a part of my brain out of hibernation. I now feel like I’m a) ready and b) really keen to get back into work full time. I blogged about this before, I’ve not been sure what to do because I want another baby and don’t want to stop and start too much. But we’re not going to be having another baby in the next year, or even trying, so I reckon I’ve … Continue reading →

Miracle

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Sometimes, just at random intervals throughout the day, I look at Chops and realise, as if for the first time that this is my Daughter I’m looking at. This astonishes me. Even though I’ve had over two and a half years to get used to it, 3 and a half if you include my pregnancy, sometimes, the fact that I Am A Mother just floors me. I look at Chops doing simple things- raising a glass of milk to her mouth before bed and having a drink and I think “Wow”. How on earth did that little person come from me? It’ll 11.40pm, just 10 minutes ago she woke up coughing (we’ve both … Continue reading →

Last Text Of The Day

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Before I go to sleep tonight, I have just picked up my phone and sent a quick text to my Mum, letting her know that Chops is sound asleep, we are both ok and Chops has not been poorly this evening. As I put my phone down I feel that pang in my chest. Sadness, rage, loss, disappointment, confusion, fury and so many other emotions hit me in the chest for just a fraction of a second, as it crossed my mind, however briefly that you have no idea about this. I text my Mum last night before bed, we spoke today before her lesson so I could relay what … Continue reading →

The Good Parent Guide.

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This post is actually going to come with a dedication. Why the heck not. This post is to everyone who has ever looked despairingly at their child(ren) or their own reflection in the mirror and thought “Am I doing this right?” Or even “I’m really not doing this right!”. But especially, this is dedicated to my friend Rachel aka Mummy Glitzer. I have spent many, and I do mean many, many, many MANY hours in the last three years worrying. About my capabilities as a parent. I wonder if perhaps, I feel that burden weighs heavier on my shoulders as I’m a single parent and therefore I have to be two people’s … Continue reading →

Four

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Babies. I’m obsessed with them at the moment. I’ve met the man I want to spend the rest of my life with, he feels the same about me. And so… “Procreate, procreate, procreate!” screams my uterus. I have never experienced ‘being broody’ before. Chops was born out of a very different relationship under very different circumstances. I was only 23 then not very young granted, but younger than I saw myself when I looked into the crystal ball of my future. I’m almost 27 now and my little girl is two and a half. Not a massive different in numbers but a complete transformation in all other manners. Although I’m also … Continue reading →

Safe

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I’m writing this after watching tonight’s Panorama about Jimmy Saville. About the possibility of unspeakably dark things going on within the BBC, that were gossiped about and suspected by dozens of people. As with anything like this, I watch, I listen, and I think of my beautiful daughter who is asleep upstairs. I won’t pretend to have the monopoly on loving my child. I believe that the love I feel for my daughter is the greatest love ever felt by one human for another. But of course, I realise  each of you parents out there feels the same. But despite the unease this programme has given me, tomorrow, I will … Continue reading →

Absent Familiy

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You probably know if you’ve read my blog before (I thank you) that I’m not in contact with my daughters father, (if not it’s here if you need bringing up to speed). I’m very lucky in that I have both of my parents nearby, Mum in Buxton, 5 minutes away from me and her husband, and Dad in Manchester with his wife and two step-sisters. My sister lives in Buxton, as do my Aunt and three cousins. My brother has been living on the Isle of Skye for the last 7 months but now he’s back and living in Buxton too. So I’m lucky. Her Dad might have opted out but … Continue reading →

Ghosts

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A conversation on Twitter with Alison Daly (@alidaly40) got me thinking last night about ghosts & the supernatural. I’ve actually been thinking about ghosts a little this week already as it happens. Chops has suddenly reached the stage where, out of nowhere she has become afraid of the dark. She is also frightened of owls, monsters & ghosts. I don’t know where this has come from, it started about 3 weeks ago and no matter how I racked my brain I couldn’t think of what had set her off. All of a sudden, out of nowhere she would come running to me, inside the house in the middle of the … Continue reading →

Blaming The Jones’

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I have already written yesterday about Finding April Jones. But having only been up with my daughter for an hour some of the tweets and opinions I’ve seen flying around have made me so worked up I felt I had to say more. To those of you out there who are shouting your mouths off about “Where were her parents?”, “Why was she playing out alone at that time of night?”. Yes. I know these are valid points. I know my daughter wouldn’t be out alone at that time. But are you honestly telling me, that you have NEVER lost sight of your child, not even for one second? Last … Continue reading →

Dad

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This isn’t the first time I’ve written a blog post about my Dad, but the old one is now gone with the olden blogs. And as I saw him today, he’s on my mind and I want to write about him. Last week, it will have been 41 years since my grandfather passed away of a heart attack and my Dad lost his own Dad. My Grandfather was just 50 years of age and my Dad was only 14. I of course, never met my Grandfather and I believe that who my Dad is as a parent has been shaped hugely by this loss. It did not escape our notice … Continue reading →